Fifty Shades of Black

Director Michael Tiddes

Genre Comedy

Cast Marlon Wayans, Kali Hawk, Fred Willard, Mike Epps

Rating R

Release Date January 29th, 2016

“An inexperienced college student meets a wealthy businessman whose sexual practices put a strain on their relationship.”

Marlon Wayans is very much the “what you see is what you get” type of actor. Every now and again he will pop up in a film or T.V. show episode in a serious role and catch you off guard, but for the most part he plays the goofy guy in a Wayans brothers spoof movie. Scary Movie, White Chicks, Little Man, Dance Flick, Haunted House, and mixed in for good measure a serious role in G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra. Surprisingly, he wasn’t in Date Movie, Epic Movie or the numerous other spoof movies but they are all pretty much the same. Director Michael Tiddes also directed Haunted House 1 & 2 so I guess he figured why not put Marlon Wayans back on the big screen in the Fifty Shades of Grey spoof film, Fifty Shades of Black.

True to the spoof films that came before it, Fifty Shades of Black makes a mockery of the book turned feature film. It makes a point to mock other films, most notably Magic Mike, and actors/actresses by way of verbal jabs throughout the hour and a half runtime. Fifty Shades of Black offers the audience an abundance of raunchy and overly goofy humor as well as an endless supply of racial stereotyping (primarily self-inflicted interestingly enough).

I must admit the writing was creative, especially considering the style of film and I enjoyed the jabs at celebrities and current pop culture in general (of course Trump’s name had to be mentioned at least once). The acting was pretty good and I thought Marlon Wayans and Kali Hawk had solid chemistry. It was also nice to see Mike Epps in a movie again, even if it was only for a few minutes (can someone please give this guy a job?!). I guess I will just watch All About the Benjamins a few more times. I feel like the need to fill every second of the film with a funny act took away from the ability to properly land some of the funnier, better written jokes.

Fifty Shades of Black was exactly the film I expected it to be, which I would consider “meh” personally but some people with a different sense of humor might really enjoy it. It appeals more to the over-the-top Naked Gun brand of humor (although less original of course) and fans of the Wayans films will appreciate the newest entry. If you are familiar with the films that they are making fun of, you will obviously get more of the jokes.

Fifty Shades of Black is not a terrible film, I mean it really is what it is, no more and no less. I will admit that I did have some good laughs but overall this style of filmmaking gets old for me. I just prefer more of a buffer to break up the slapstick brand of humor, or at least some cameos along the way. A few of the jokes that didn’t quite resonate with me in the theater were able to get a delayed chuckle while writing this review, for what it’s worth.

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Director Michael Bay

Genre Action | Drama | Thriller

Cast John Krasinski, James Badge Dale, Pablo Schreiber, David Costabile

Rating R

Release Date January 15th, 2016

“An American Ambassador is killed during an attack at a U.S. compound in Libya as a security team struggles to make sense out of the chaos.”

Director Michael Bay gets hammered with his fair share of criticism, most of which is certainly warranted. The running joke always seems to be "my favorite part was when the transformer came out and blew everything up" and so on. Yes, he likes to make movies with lots of explosions, and yes the Transformer films seem to satisfy that apparent need but I am not so sure Bay can be “labeled” so easily. Nonetheless, as a director he keeps the money coming in. The most recent, Transformers: Age of Extinction was a bust with critics but still earned $1 billion worldwide (mostly thanks to popularity in China) with yet another sequel in the works.

Michael Bay's newest film 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, is his first attempt at a film based on the United States military since 2001's Pearl Harbor, which received mixed reviews. It is also Bay's third drama based on real-life events, the first two being Pearl Harbor and Pain & Gain (2013). The film is based on the book by Mitchell Zuckoff entitled 13 Hours: The Inside Account of What Really Happened in Benghazi. As with most film adaptations based on real-life events, certain aspects of the story were changed and adjusted to fit the wants and needs of Hollywood. And to be quite honest, I am okay with that as long as you keep the heart of the story intact.

My relatively tempered expectations brought on by the fact that Bay films have taught me to focus more on entertainment value may have played a part in my overall opinion of the film, but I really enjoyed 13 Hours: The Secret Solders of Benghazi. As a huge fan of films based on our military, one of my favorites being The Hurt Locker, this film manages to set the tone early and make it very clear that Libya is a very, very dangerous place. Now this is not The Hurt Locker, not even close, but it is well acted, intense, funnier than expected, and includes a surprisingly impressive attention to detail considering Bay's usual tendencies. I was worried about taking actor Jon Krasinski (Jim from The Office) seriously, but his ripped physique and impressive beard seemed to do the trick (do NOT look too much into that comment, just an observation).

If you are a fan of action films and can also appreciate the ability to learn a little something along the way, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi will satisfy that craving. Although this film will not get any real recognition in terms of awards, I respect Bay's willingness to release a politically sensitive film during an election year. With that being said, I don’t follow politics and would rather watch a movie over a debate any day (although Trump is hilarious) so who really cares. Ignore the attention seeking clowns on the internet questioning Bay’s intentions in relation to politics and check this one out. I felt pretty good when I left the theater and it’s just a movie after all.

The Finest Hours

Director Craig Gillespie

Genre Action | Drama | History

Cast Chris Pine, Casey Affleck, Ben Foster, Eric Bana

Rating PG-13

Release Date January, 29th 2016

“The Coast Guard makes a daring rescue attempt off the coast of Cape Cod after a pair of oil tankers are destroyed during a blizzard in 1952.”

The Finest Hours is based on the book of the same name written by Michael J. Tougias and Casey Sherman. It describes what is widely considered the most daring rescue in the history of the United States Coast Guard, after a 1952 blizzard split two oil tankers in half off the coast off Cape Cod. The film was directed by relatively unknown director Craig Gillespie who has directed some big name films including Million Dollar Arm and Fright Night. 

The trailer for The Finest Hours is misleading to say the least, as it seemed to resemble another film based on actual events that took place in Massachusetts. I am referring to the timeless classic The Perfect Storm, and the similarities do not go much further than location and boats during brutal storms. In my opinion George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg would be displeased with any sort of comparison. A film with such a strong and engaging story should be intense to the point of white knuckles gripping the arm rest but it just didn’t happen for me. I will admit that a few scenes had my blood pressure at unhealthy levels but it was very inconsistent.

The acting in The Finest Hours is sub par at best which is a letdown considering a solid cast, consisting of Chris Pine, Casey Affleck, and Ben Foster. Chris Pine had one of the worst Massachusetts accents put on display since Andy Sandberg mocked Mark Wahlberg on SNL (which was hilarious). Ben Foster had maybe his worst performance as an actor and he seemed genuinely bored with his role. The best performance was delivered by independent film sensation Casey Affleck as one of the men aboard the oil tanker. He seemed to be in command of his part and really took to his character. I also need to put some blame on what I would consider to be lazy writing. A film with a dramatic element like this requires some sort of connection to the characters but zero effort was put into this. I guess Disney spent too much money on the CGI and cut back the screenplay to make ends meet.

Overall, I was entertained and wouldn’t consider the film a total waste of money. The CGI was impressive and provided plenty of quality eye candy during the big scenes, but considering it is 2016 that should be expected. If you do decide to check this out in theaters, you might as well go IMAX and get the full effect. As a Disney film, The Finest Hours serves its apparent purpose as a fun, feel-good family flick that will keep everyone in good spirits. On the other hand, if you are looking for something more along the lines of a gritty survival story, this simply is not that movie. 

The Hateful Eight

Director Quentin Tarantino

Genre Crime | Drama | Mystery

Cast Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins

Rating R

Release Date December 30th, 2015

“In the dead of a Wyoming winter, a bounty hunter and his prisoner find shelter in a cabin currently inhabited by a collection of nefarious characters.”

Quentin Tarantino is back with his 8th film, The Hateful Eight, and once again he means business. From Reservoir Dogs to Pulp Fiction, the Kill Bill films and most recently Django Unchained, people tend to love him or hate him when he is at the helm. His success is undeniable as a director and he tends to push the envelope with his films for better or for worse. Tarantino prefers to stack his films with A-list actors and excessive violence so I say keep them coming. The Hateful Eight falls into the western genre similar to Django Unchained which seems to be an area of comfort for Tarantino as of late.

I was finally able to see The Hateful Eight for myself and I will say it was more or less what I expected. The film provides a never-ending supply of quality dialogue which never gets boring. The story unfolds in bits and pieces and provides a decent twist that will keep the audience guessing. The content is quite graphic and the language certainly pushes the envelope (if you are easily offended by the “N” word I would skip this one). One thing about Tarantino films is that they tend to be quite long, most of which coming close to the 3 hour mark. This film comes in at about 2 hours and 45 minutes and unfortunately it does feel long. I swear I had to pee for at least 2 hours and I refused to leave the theater (that was rough).

The acting in The Hateful Eight is top notch with a cast consisting of Kurt Russell, Samuel L. Jackson, Walter Goggins (Sons of Anarchy), and a surprise performance from Jennifer Jason Leigh, who excels at being obnoxious in her role. So much so that she earned a best actress in a supporting role nomination at the upcoming Academy Awards and I would say she has a chance to win. As far as subject matter is concerned, The Hateful Eight comes across as a less serious action comedy type film when compared to something like The Revenant.

Overall, The Hateful Eight is an entertaining film and stays true to the Quentin Tarantino formula. You could argue that he took a step back creativity wise and pulled from his Django Unchained bag of tricks, which I would say is good and bad but definitely more of the latter. The Hateful Eight will easily please returning fans but might struggle when trying to hook newcomers. Recommended. 

The Revenant

Director Alejandro González Iñárritu

Genre Adventure | Drama | Thriller

Cast Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson, Will Poulter

Rating R

Release Date January 8th, 2016

“A frontiersman on a fur trading expedition in the 1820s fights for survival after being mauled by a bear and left for dead by members of his own hunting team.”

One of the best director/actor combos has been Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorcese, teaming up on The Wolf Of Wall Street, Shutter Island, and The Departed, to name a few. Now DiCaprio has teamed up with another director who is building quite the resume, Alejandro González Iñárritu (I cannot for the life of me pronounce his full name without looking it up) who is responsible for 2014’s critically acclaimed Birdman (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) starring Michael Keaton and Edward Norton. DiCaprio and Iñárritu have teamed up for The Revenant and as expected viewers and critics alike had very, very high hopes.

I went out to see The Revenant not long after its release because to be quite honest, I was looking forward to this for at least 6 months. The buzz had me expecting nothing short of a masterpiece and that is precisely what I had anticipated spending 2 ½ hours of my life experiencing. Well ladies and gentleman, the good news is that The Revenant satisfied my expectations but it is also worth noting that many friends and acquaintances (otherwise known as convenience friends or work friends) were let down by the motion picture blockbuster for a variety of reasons. The trailer for The Revenant makes it feel like a sort of John Wick style revenge film but that would be an ill-conceived notion. Consider The Revenant to be more of the cool calm and collected revenge film, think Leon: The Professional minus young Natalie Portman or any attractive females for that matter. The revenge will come my friends, but you must eat your vegetables first, some people are so impatient!

I apology for the relentless ranting of analogies but I feel that it had to be said, now on to what matters. I felt The Revenant was exactly the movie I expected it to be. It is a film about revenge and the undeniable strength of the human spirit when faced with the most brutal circumstances. Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy are incredible in their performances and even though DiCaprio received the nomination for best actor (which I feel he deserves) a nomination could have easily gone to Hardy as well. Both make a strong case with their performances and bring unique abilities as actors to the table. To be honest one of my favorite aspects of The Revenant is how artful and beautifully shot the film is which did not go unnoticed given its nomination for best picture. To me it felt somewhat similar to the very underappreciated film Ain’t Them Bodies Saints, starring Casey Affleck and Rooney Mara. The similarities come down to a number of beautifully shot scenes with very little if any dialogue.

The Revenant is a unique film that not only deserves to be seen but any fan of quality filmmaking owes it to themselves to experience what Iñárritu crafted for us all. Just be sure that you can handle graphic content and intense violence because it has that in spades. Highly recommended.

Brooklyn

Director John Crowley

Genre Drama | Romance

Cast Saoirse Ronan, Emory Cohen, Domhnall Gleeson, Jim Broadbent

Rating PG-13

Release Date November 25th, 2015

“An Irish immigrant lands in 1950s Brooklyn, where she quickly falls into a romance with a local. When her past catches up with her, however, she must choose between two countries and the lives that exist within.”

I finally got around to seeing Brooklyn which seems to have been given a wider release thanks to the Best Picture nomination for the upcoming Academy Awards in February 2016. Directed by the relatively unknown John Crowley and starring up-and-coming Irish actress Saoirse Ronan (pronounced Sertia like Inertia according to my good buddy Ryan Gosling), Emory Cohen, and Domhnall Gleeson, it is a drama that unfolds in 1950’s Brooklyn. After reading about how amazing the film was supposed to be for what seemed like months, I was glad to finally have the opportunity to make my own assessment.

I am pleased to report that this little gem is as advertised and worth every penny. As a fan of quality filmmaking I feel that the ultimate reward comes when you leave the theater feeling like you gained something from what you just watched instead of yet another wasted few hours. Brooklyn felt very much like an experience and it comes as close as possible to the feeling you get when finishing a good book, a feeling that will surely resonate with you for the remainder of the evening. The story comes to life with each and every scene and the acting is top-notch. Ronan steals the show as expected but Emory Cohen (The Place Beyond The Pines) and Domhnall Gleeson (About Time, The Revenant) more than pull their weight making sure the film is a success on all fronts. Brooklyn will feel like a delicious meal from a renowned chef and the final few minutes will be that delicious dessert you were yearning for the entire time.

Brooklyn is a prime example of quality filmmaking and is the “total package” in my humble opinion.  It is very well written, finely acted, vividly detailed, and surprisingly well paced for its runtime just shy of 2 hours. Regardless of the inevitable trash talking that will surely come my way I would happily watch Brooklyn again and would even consider purchasing the Blu-ray for the right price. I like to consider myself more of a leader and less of a follower and if my compass leads me to a drama built on a complex love story then so be it. Brooklyn feels like you are watching Ronan’s character grow up right before your eyes and it is a pleasurable experience to say the least. Brooklyn might not come away with best picture at the Academy Awards due to what I consider some stiff competition with The Revenant and The Big Short, but it undoubtedly deserves the recognition. Highly recommended.

Ride Along 2

Director Tim Story

Genre Action | Comedy

Cast Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Olivia Munn, Ken Jeong

Rating PG-13

Release Date January 15th, 2016

“As his wedding day approaches, Ben heads to Miami with his soon-to-be brother-in-law James to bring down a drug dealer who’s supplying the dealers of Atlanta with product.”

Ride Along released in theaters in 2014 to a collective yawn from critics but that didn’t slow down the comedy starring Ice Cube and Kevin Hart. The film had total domestic gross earnings of $134,938,200 with a budget of $25 million, according to Box Office Mojo. That is a ridiculous return on investment and all but guaranteed a sequel.

Let me just cut through the crap and say that as a fan of quality filmmaking of varying degrees, Ride Along 2 left me feeling somewhat cheated. I enjoyed the first film and felt that it was a quirky comedy that included a cast with solid chemistry, and it simply worked without trying to do too much. When I received word that they would be doing a sequel primarily due to the financial success of the first film I was excited especially considering the addition of Ken Jeong (The Hangover). I went to see Ride Along 2 a few days after its release and I felt like the cast basically did their best sleepwalking impression during the entire film just to collect a paycheck.

The first film had a formula that worked, taking advantage of a strained humorous relationship between Kevin Hart and Ice Cube. I enjoy Hart’s over the top brand of humor and to me Ice Cube sort of balances him out with his laid back demeanor.  Ride Along 2 literally and figuratively took away all of the fun in the first film and replaced it with jokes that wouldn’t have landed in my local comedy club (and they charge $5 a ticket, think about that). The sequel finds itself in Miami, FL and I find it a bit concerning that the hit serial killer series Dexter gets me more excited about visiting the Sunshine State.

Ride Along 2 felt lazy, forced, and downright criminal given the abilities of its cast. I laughed a few times but I couldn’t overlook the fact that I was being spoon fed a bland storyline with next to no creativity involved. Director Tim Story has shown that he understands how to use Kevin Hart as an actor given the success of the film Think Like A Man, but that also had a crash landing of a sequel so maybe he should get out of the sequel business altogether. Do yourself a favor and skip this one.

The Boy

Director William Brent Bell

Genre Horror | Thriller

Cast Lauren Cohan, Rupert Evans, Diana Hardcastle, Jim Norton

Rating PG-13

Release Date January 22nd, 2016

“An American nanny is shocked that her new English family’s boy is actually a life-sized doll. After violating a list of strict rules, disturbing events make her believe that the doll is really alive.”

The Boy is directed by William Brent Bell who is also responsible for the 2012 film The Devil Inside (I doubt he is proud of that). Lauren Cohan took a break from her role as Maggie in the hit AMC series The Walking Dead to take on the lead role and as an actress she cannot seem to break free from uncomfortable living arrangements. As a fan of The Walking Dead I will be the first to admit that it was nice to see her actually shower and put on some clean clothes for once.

The Boy is a unique film in the sense that it almost makes you second guess how you actually feel about the direction of the film. Many horror films, like the first Insidious film for example, start off with plenty of promise and take a ridiculous detour which makes it clear the writers botched an opportunity for a legitimately scary film. There is nothing worse than getting the audience built up to something extremely creepy only to throw it away for no good reason. To me The Boy is in a lot of ways the outlier when it comes to horror movies mainly because it goes right with most movies go left. Once again I'm having a hard time deciding exactly how I feel about the dare to be different approach but I will say the writers deserve some credit for originality and some much needed imagination. 

The Boy has a creative premise and delivers solid acting performances (the boys mother is super creepy) but unfortunately it does suffer from some pacing issues, lulling the audience to sleep at times. But don’t worry, with a runtime just over an hour and a half you should be able to stay awake and you will be happy you did. I feel like The Boy is going to inevitably receive mixed reactions but that is to be expected from the horror genre, particularly films that include creepy dolls and demonic possession. I am actually looking forward to discussing it with people, just to get a feel for other viewpoints. The important thing is that The Boy was entertaining, thought provoking, and not quite what you would expect and the conclusion of the film will take you by surprise. It also leaves the viewer with an uneasy feeling which in my opinion is how you should always leave the theater after watching a horror movie. Recommended.

Dirty Grandpa

Director Dan Mazer

Genre Comedy

Cast Robert De Niro, Zac Efron, Zoey Deutch, Aubrey Plaza, Jason Mantzoukas

Rating R

Release Date January 22nd, 2016

“Right before his wedding, an uptight guy is tricked into driving his grandfather, a perverted former Army Lieutenant-Colonel “Special Forces” to Florida for spring break.”

Robert De Niro is no stranger to comedic films but he generally plays the buffer role and the laughs he provides are delivered indirectly in some way. Let’s face it, he fits the tough guy role and always has. Fairly unknown director Dan Mazer brings us Dirty Grandpa which intends to provide audiences with a multitalented version of their favorite actor, who is tough, funny, and full of personality. Add in Neighbors star Zac Efron and you have yourself quite the dynamic duo.

I went to see Dirty Grandpa with what I would consider to be level headed expectations, which more or less means I had an idea what I was getting myself into. Raunchy comedies tend to find themselves on the outside looking in when it comes to critic appreciation much like graphic horror films or “torture porn” as some call them (think I Spit on Your Grave). Personally I prefer the latter but exceptions do exist, such as the star-studded hit comedy This Is The End which certainly pushed the envelope on raunchy comedy. Perhaps critics simply hate to see A-List stars like De Niro stoop to this level as they would say but big deal, let the guy have a little fun every once in a while.

Dirty Grandpa is an entertaining film that has enough for everybody starting with De Niro as a sex-crazed old man determined to act on his late wife’s final wishes to get back on the horse sort of speak. A stuck up soon to be married walking and talking Abercrombie and Fitch billboard played by Zac Efron who drives around in his fiancé’s pink Mini Cooper which basically sums up who wears the pants in that relationship. Michael Mantoukas is a drug dealing nut job and he basically plays his same exact role as Rafi from the hit FX show The League. Honestly, I could watch this guy all day. 

Is the acting great? No. Does anyone involved deserve any sort of accolade for their work on the film? Again, no. What matters is the simple fact that right from the beginning the jokes start coming and never really stop. Some hit and some fall flat but this is the old fashioned method of quantity over quality and I am more than okay with that. If you think De Niro trying to nail a college-coed on spring break while doing whatever it takes to allow his prude grandson the opportunity to finally have some fun in his adult life might be entertaining than you could do much worse than Dirty Grandpa. Oh yeah, the film actually has some heart and somewhat of a message to it as well believe it or not.

Side note, an elderly couple did walk out of the theater after De Niro emphatically expressed his need for sexual relations due to a dry spell that lasted well over a decade. All I can say is if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen people.