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Defending Jacob - Is The New Apple TV+ Drama Worth Checking Out?

May 7, 2020

So if you’re here you are wondering one thing, is the new Apple TV+ original drama series Defending Jacob worth a watch? Well, the short answer is you can bet your softer than usual quarantined ass it is! This is edge-of-your-seat drama in it’s finest form, complete with stellar acting, great writing, gorgeous cinematography, and a score that is absolute perfection. I have yet to find time to read the novel the series is based on (I plan to once I have watched the entire thing), but the show is just too good. I won’t give anything away for those of you unfamiliar with the series, because well that would be a real a-hole move. Aside from the basic premise which is below.

Andy Barber is a successful Boston area prosecutor played by none other than the man himself Chris Evans, aka Captain America. By all accounts Barber has it made, a successful career and a beautiful family living in a nice suburban neighborhood, but in an instant everything changes for him. If it isn’t bad enough that he is called to the grisly murder scene just blocks from his home to find one of his son’s classmates dead at the bottom of an embankment stabbed to death, soon he will learn that the prime suspect is none other than his only son, Jacob, played by the talented Jaeden Martell. Martell is formerly known as Jaeden Lieberher, but decided to officially change his last name to his mother’s maiden name as he was raised by her. I’m also pretty sure he got sick of people not being able to pronounce his last name, myself included. He is best known most recently for his work in the remakes of Stephen King’s It films in the lead role of Bill Denbrough as a kid. He was also fantastic along Bill Murray in the 2014 film St. Vincent. Michelle Dockery, best known for Downton Abbey, plays the role of Andy’s wife and Jacob’s mother, Laurie Barber. Once Jacob is named as the prime suspect in the murder that has shaken the entire community, life will never be the same for the Barber family.

Watching this family fall apart right before your eyes is both mesmerizing and heartbreaking, which is admittedly a unique balance. Andy’s professional life collides with his personal life in such a way that it is almost hard to comprehend, and the many layers that brings to the surface is just extremely fascinating to me. As I watch the show I can’t help but think of the inner-turmoil he is dealing with, and I just feel horrible for the guy, it really is the absolute worst case scenario. Just trying to imagine how you would react if you were faced with similar circumstances is enough to make this show worth watching. We have watched 4 episodes so far, the initial 3 and the 4th that dropped last Friday, with episode 5 dropping tomorrow, May 8th. The other unique element with which Apple TV+ is releasing Defending Jacob is the fact that the synopsis for each episode yet to be released is completely blank both online and on the streaming service itself, so you are left to guess what will happen next. I am absolutely hooked and can’t wait to see where this show goes.

Now as I mentioned Apple TV+ aired 3 episodes of the total 8 once the show made its official debut on April 24th, and continues to air one episode a week each Friday until the series concludes on the final Friday of May which is the 29th. I know you may be hesitant to sign-up for yet another streaming service (I felt the same way), but trust me when I say Defending Jacob is ABSOLUTELY worth it! You can also snag a week trial of Apple TV+ here.

Ted Takes Defending Jacob Exclusive Preview

Enjoy!!

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Fantasy Island

February 26, 2020

Director Jeff Wadlow

Genre Adventure | Comedy | Horror

Cast Lucy Hale, Michael Peña, Maggie Q, Portia Doubleday

Rating PG-13

Release Date February 14th, 2020

“A horror adaptation of the popular ‘70s TV show about a magical island resort.A horror adaptation of the popular ‘70s TV show about a magical island resort.”

The poster points out that Fantasy Island is from the producer of Get Out and Halloween which is true, but what they fail to mention is the writers are also responsible for the POS horror film Truth or Dare, which is also from Blumhouse. Hmm…

Yet another sad and pathetic excuse for a horror movie, Fantasy Island is about as scary as the sanitation worker episode of Sesame Street, "but where does all of the trash go?!". Well we now have the answer to that question, all of the trash found its way to the script for this movie. For the love of creative expression, I hope the excuse is that the talentless studio heads stepped in and wrecked this script because if the writers are fully responsible for this dribble, they deserve to be banished from Hollywood forever. Director Jeff Wadlow, who is also responsible for Never Back Down and Kick-Ass 2, both of which I enjoyed, seems to have forgotten how to direct.

The television series the film is based on, also titled Fantasy Island, ran from 1977-1984, totaling 154 episodes when it was all said and done. Now that is pretty damn impressive if you ask me, and certainly provides a plethora of source material to work with. I was born the year the show concluded so I can't say I have any memory of it, but I can say with a certain level of certainty that if the show was even a tenth as bad as the movie, it wouldn’t have survived a single season. The shows creator Gene Levitt, who passed away in 1999 at the age of 79 (RIP), is likely working on a way to come back to life long enough to murder everyone responsible for trashing the last thing he worked on before hanging up the typewriter. But I will say that this, the movie version of Fantasy Island has me wanting to actually watch the show to get this bad taste out of my mouth, so I guess that's a positive. They also made an interesting decision not to cast one of the most important roles from the show, which is that of the character Tattoo, Mr. Rourke’s right-hand man, played by Paris born actor Hervé Villechaize (seen below alongside the original Mr. Rourke, actor Ricardo Montalban). Where is the controversy surrounding a decision to essentially take away an opportunity for an actor with dwarfism to be in the film? I guess we are too busy praising Parasite for it’s groundbreaking look at the issues of social class.

I usually try and touch on the quality of the acting, but every now and again it is so dramatically overshadowed by the poor writing and directing that you can’t tell which way is up. Now I love me some Michael Peña, but who doesn't right? I imagine he was out on a yacht somewhere 6 or 7 pina colada's deep and received a phone call asking if he wanted to be in this movie and he agreed without actually taking a look at a script. Studio probably figured we pay him a healthy sum to get some name recognition and throw in a few actors willing to work for fairly cheap and who look good on the screen to round out the cast. Some will certainly argue that Maggie Q is a talented actress, and sure she has a decent resume and is a nice balance of sexy and badass, but aside from her role as Nikita she's not exactly lighting the big-screen on fire especially when it comes to feature films. Lucy Hale was fine and nice to look at as usual. I did enjoy the roles played by a few of my favorite television actors including Kim Coates (Sons of Anarchy), Michael Rooker (The Walking Dead), and Jimmy O. Yang (Silicon Valley). But again, I place the majority if not all of the blame on the writing and directing because mediocre acting can be easily ignored in a horror movie and this has been proven time and time again.

Now the word on the street is Fantasy Island was originally slated to be an R-rated film, until some gentrified focus group watched it and said it made them upset (this is a guess of course, but it's an educated guess). Tale as old as time right? Sure is. I mean how many times will Hollywood allow this to happen? Like do they not understand that a large population of avid movie fans still want to see gore, violence, and you guessed it, nudity, or am I crazy and did the 90's not actually happen? Fantasy Island is what's wrong with the film industry when it comes to horror movies, yet we continue to hear that studios are reluctant to invest money in a horror movie for fear of losing money so we have to scratch and claw to get our hands on these indie gems that are 10 times better than movies like this. Someone needs to slap these idiots across the face and say stop making piece of crap horror movies and perhaps the genre will begin to pay dividends once again. We may get lucky and the R-rated cut of the Blu-ray release is substantially better, but we will see (although the bar has been set pretty low).

I think I veered off track a bit but did I mention Fantasy Island sucked and isn't worth your money? Okay good, maybe once it hits Netflix or gets a run late night on FXX you can check it out. (the below image is actual footage of the cast getting as far away from this movie as possible after realizing how bad the writing and directing was going to be).

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Sonic the Hedgehog

February 19, 2020

Director Jeff Fowler

Genre Animation | Action | Adventure

Cast James Marsden, Jim Carrey, Ben Schwartz, Tika Sumpter

Rating PG

Release Date February 14th, 2020

“After discovering a small, blue, fast hedgehog, a small-town police officer must help it defeat an evil genius who wants to do experiments on it.”

DISCLAIMER: If you’re disgusted by family friendly movies or missed out on the joy of playing video games as a kid, you should probably skip this review. Instead, check out our Knives Out review, an instant classic from director Rian Johnson. For the rest of you still reading, here we go…

Sonic the Hedgehog is, and will forever be, ingrained in the memories of my childhood. That lightning fast bright blue hedgehog chasing his gold rings really brings me back to the care-free days of my childhood. So, it goes without saying, I was ready to see this movie as soon as it was announced for development.

Sonic the Hedgehog had an interesting journey before it finally hit theaters, running head on into a ton of criticism from fans after the first trailer premiered. Long story short, the CGI technology used for Sonic was horrendous. It was almost laughable how bad he looked, making you legitimately question if the movie was meant to be a spoof (or maybe another SB commercial disguised as a movie). Luckily, they took the hint and went back to the drawing board, returning a few months later with something dramatically better.

Luckily, the movie God’s were watching over me on this chilly New England afternoon. Whether or not that whole ordeal lowered my expectations I can’t say for sure, but I was genuinely impressed with the final product. Sonic looked like what I would have put on paper if I had any semblance of artistic talent, which I don’t. It was simply a seamless live-action hour and a half of un-adulterated entertainment that kept me hooked from start to finish. I really liked how Sonic's origin story played out, making it feel as "realistic" as possible considering we are technically talking about an alien with supernatural powers. Also, I’ll be damned if that blue CGI hedgehog didn’t tug on my heart strings more than a few times – we all need friends Sonic!

The casting decisions were spot on in my humble opinion (or IMHO as social media says), matching up James Marsden as the protagonist and the beloved Jim Carrey as the antagonist sealed the deal for me. I’m a huge Jim Carrey fan, I mean who isn’t, and I’m not sure any other actor could have taken on the role of the very strange and over-the-top Dr. Ivo Robotnik in the way he did. As ridiculous as his character was, it felt genuine because, well, it was Jim Carrey. He had me cracking up plenty that’s all I know, and I especially enjoyed the line "ever wonder where your tax dollars go?" as he goes after Sonic with his top-of-the-line weaponry. I'm a huge fan of James Marsden as an actor, whether it's HBO's Westworld or a movie like this, he’s just an easy guy to root for. These two leads were hilarious together, keeping the laughs coming from start to finish. I enjoyed Ben Schwartz as the voice of Sonic as well mainly because instead of picturing the actor I only associated the voice with what I was watching. Although he had a limited role, comedic actor Adam Pally was a nice addition to the cast as well sprinkling in a few silly one-liners here and there.

Bottom line, Sonic the Hedgehog put a smile on this toddler dad’s face and for me, that’s worth more than just the price of admission. I only wish my son was a little older so I could bring him to see it. The film successfully caters to the needs of kids and adults, delivering on a message rooted in the strength of family and friendship – something we can all stand to focus more on.

This is easily one of the better video game adaptations you'll come across, so do yourself a favor and get the kids loaded up in the minivan and check this one out while it’s in theaters because it just might be the brief escape from real-life you didn’t realize you needed (fingers crossed we get a sequel!).

Want a refresher by seeing the trailer? Check it out here.

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Birds of Prey

February 8, 2020

Director Cathy Yan

Genre Action | Adventure | Crime

Cast Margot Robbie, Ewan McGregor, Rosie Perez, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Rating R

Release Date February 7th, 2020

“After splitting with the Joker, Harley Quinn joins superheroes Black Canary, Huntress and Renee Montoya to save a young girl from an evil crime lord.”

From director Cathy Yan, Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn finally brings the sociopathic head-turner to the forefront. After splitting with the Joker, Harley Quinn joins superheroes Black Canary, Huntress and Renee Montoya to save a young girl from an evil crime lord.

It is no secret that DC has struggled to introduce films that have satisfied fans at even half the level of what Marvel has been churning out time and time again, but they have gotten lucky a few times with Wonder Woman and the Oscar darling Joker starring Joquin Phoenix, or even to a less extent Jason Mamoa’s Aquaman. I might be in the minority but I actually enjoyed Suicide Squad, but do agree that they cut the film down too much to get that damn PG-13 rating which was absolutely a mistake. Nonetheless, Birds of Prey is more or less a sequel to Suicide Squad following Harley Quinn’s character after her split with Mr. J, as she calls Joker. Margot Robbie is a legit actress, that is a fact, so locking her in for this role was a huge move on DC’s part and all the reason I needed to plant my behind in a comfy theater seat on opening night. But was it worth the price of admission?

Let me just ease your concerns right out of the gate and say yes, yes it was. Birds of Prey was actually better than I hoped it would be, going in sort of expecting Harley Quinn’s ridiculous accent to wear on me after awhile, but I am pleased to report it was actually the opposite. The film got better during the just under 2 hours, laying one heck of a foundation for this band of misfits out to make the world a better place or just get rich, depending on who you focus on. The balance of action and comedy is about as good as you could hope, the stunts are extremely impressive, and even though some of the CGI is admittedly over the top (we all saw the Hyena in the bathtub in the trailer), it still worked. I will point out that Birds of Prey absolutely stole a few tricks from Deadpool, but to say that films are made on a foundation of originality this day and age would be a comment as ridiculous as well, a Hyena in a bathtub. From the soundtrack, to the cinematography, right down to the ever so important smooth and never boring pacing, this is a film that understands what fans want.

The cast is absolutely fantastic, and I really can’t say enough about the performances of Ewan McGregor and Chris Messina, the primary antagonists in the film. With your usual run-of-the-mill good guys vs bad guys movies (which I know this blurs the lines as Harley Quinn isn’t really a good guy/girl), you tend to have the fun parts of the movie followed by a scene with the bad guy that is supposed to build him or her up as scary or dangerous or whatever. I know I’m simplifying things but you get what I mean. Instead, I couldn’t wait for the scenes involving McGregor’s Roman Sionis (the Batman villain Black Mask) and his right hand man Messina, as Victor Zsasz. These two were so absolutely ridiculous and hilarious together, I’m pretty sure I laughed during every scene they were in - which I will note made me feel a little strange as they had a few pretty dark moments together in the film as well. Whether it was the chemistry they had together or their mannerisms, they were a blast. I actually barely recognized Messina, who most will remember from The Mindy Project, as he looks completely different in this role.

Margot Robbie was great as expected with top-notch comedic delivery and just an absolute immersion into her character, although I will say that they made the crazy hot balance closer to 70/30 this time around, with hot getting the short end of things. She’s much more attractive in Suicide Squad, but this is post-breakup so I guess it makes sense. Either way, I plan to re-watch The Wolf of Wall Street ASAP to balance out the universe. I really enjoyed Rosie Perez as Renee Montoya, but no matter what when I see her on-screen I always think of her role in White Men Can’t Jump even though that movie came out nearly 30 years ago - I just keep hearing that very distinct voice of hers yelling at Woody Harrelson to get his act together and stop getting hustled on the basketball court. Jurnee Smollett-Bell was great as Black Canary, and she tipped the hot scale in the right direction thankfully. I will say that I was probably least pleased with Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s role as The Huntress, but I also understand what they were trying to go for as far as the character dynamic. Either way, kudos to the casting team behind Birds of Prey because they crushed it.

Birds of Prey is exactly what I hoped it would be and more - an over-the-top R-rated vulgar language and violence infused two-hours of escapism in Gotham City. This is why we go to the movies in the first place folks, to be entertained. Harley Quinn steps outside the shadow of The Joker and proves “she don’t need no man”. Birds of Prey is the perfect example of balancing an R-rating with still somewhat of a light “don’t take yourself too seriously” mood that is prevalent throughout the film, and it really works. I’m hoping to check this out at least once more in theaters, and I will absolutely be snagging the 4K-UHD Blu-ray version when it releases for the inevitable extended edition of the film. Highly recommended.

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Knives Out

January 22, 2020

Director Rian Johnson

Genre Comedy | Crime | Drama

Cast Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Jamie Lee Curtis

Rating PG-13

Release Date November 27th, 2019

“A detective investigates the death of a patriarch of an eccentric, combative family.”

Written and directed by the talented Rian Johnson (Looper, Star Wars: The Last Jedi), Knives Out is a comedy drama “whodunit” that follows a detective as he investigates the death of a patriarch of an eccentric, combative family. Securing $40 million funding at TIFF in September 2018, Knives Out garnered widespread critical acclaim immediately and was able to get a well deserved wide release. With a well-known director and a cast loaded with A-list talent, this quickly became the must-see movie to cap off 20199. Now I know you’re just dying to know, what did we think?

First and foremost I would like to point at that at first glimpse the trailer for Knives Out may remind you of the 2017 murder mystery Murder on the Orient Express from director Kenneth Branagh (at least it did for me), but trust me when I say this is much, much better. I mean that film was fine, but personally I found it boring and anti-climactic, basically the opposite of Knives Out. Now when you have a loaded cast as both films do, it can be easy to get lost in all of the talent at your disposal, but Rian Johnson does a fantastic job with Knives Out ensuring that each character is able to stand on their own two feet and have an identity of their own. I can pick out multiple characters that I really enjoyed, and honestly none of which that annoyed me which is rare nowadays.

The script felt fresh and inventive, which is no surprise considering the film was nominated for Best Original Screenplay at the 2020 Academy Awards. The audience is only given bits and pieces through flashbacks and character background/interactions leaving you guessing pretty much up until the very end. I also really enjoyed the overall tone of the film, which granted it was fairly over-the-top the majority of the time, it all seemed to fit within that dysfunctional and greedy family dynamic present throughout. I was engaged from start to finish and I found myself laughing out loud multiple times, but even better than that I had a smile on my face the entire time. I’ve heard arguments that the film would have benefited from a R rating as opposed to being PG-13, but I don’t think it was necessary.

Knives Out is fairly described as a “whodunit” comedy murder mystery style film, but to take it one step further this is just a really fun movie going experience. This is a buy your popcorn and let the movie take you away from reality for the next 2+ hours, and that for me was exactly what I needed. Sometimes it can be hard to get out of your own head when you go to the theater, especially when a film has such sky high expectations, but I felt like I spent a few hours with the eccentric and absolutely ridiculous Thrombey family, and it was a blast. It is rare to become so immersed in the characters that you almost stop caring about the actual storyline, but that happened for me more than a few times.

Chris Evans was fantastic as the Black Sheep of the family, Daniel Craig was great even though he did have an exaggerated southern drawl of an accent which I personally had no issue with, and the ageless Don Johnson once again managed to make his presence felt in a supporting role. The always gorgeous Ana de Armas takes on a role a little different, and more pivotal to the film, than what she’s used to but she absolutely delivers (if you want to see one of her more “risque” performances see Eli Roth’s Knock Knock). I left the theater feeling fulfilled and entertained, and wanting to see Knives Out again to make sure I am able to fully appreciate each and every little moment of cinematic satisfaction.

Now it may sound like I am gushing, because well I am, but Knives Out is a damn good film and I can’t wait to add it to my Blu-ray collection as soon as it releases - which won’t be long as the Blu-ray and 4K Ultra HD is set to release on February 25th. Best Buy will have a special edition SteelBook version that I have my eyes on. Highly recommended.

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The Shining

November 7, 2019

Director Stanley Kubrick

Genre Drama | Horror

Cast Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers

Rating R

Release Date June 13th, 1980

“A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter where a sinister presence influences the father into violence, while his psychic son sees horrific forebodings from both past and future.”

In the 2nd installment of the Throwback Movie Reviews series, we stay in the horror genre and take things back four decades… 

Fast approaching it's 40-year anniversary, which seems absolutely insane, The Shining is the sort of film that never leaves you and is usually what film fanatics refer to when discussing horror films that set the benchmark. A New York City native, the late director Stanley Kubrick is a legend in the film industry - he is basically the Bill Belichick of filmmaking. But the interesting thing about Kubrick, who sadly passed away in 1999 at the age of 70, is the fact that he only took on projects that he truly believed in, hence his rather short filmography as a director, which ended at 16 with the film Eyes Wide Shut. Now granted I firmly believe he would have continued directing films if not for his early departure from this world, but what he left us with will live on forever. Kubrick capped off his career with 3 incredible films, the aforementioned The Shining in 1980, Full Metal Jacket in 1987, and lastly the provocative thriller Eyes Wide Shut which released in 1999, the final year of his life.

I mean think about this for a second, someone says to you hey what's the best horror film you can think of? Okay, The Shining, right? Now what is the best and most intense depiction of war you can think of, hmm how about Full Metal Jacket, I mean seriously?! Kubrick directed and wrote the screenplay for both (The Shining is of course based on a Stephen King Novel), and both films have performances that are unmatched and honestly rarely seen in film today. Whether it be Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, or Danny Lloyd in The Shining, or Vincent D'Onofrio's soul crushing performance in Full Metal Jacket, it's just top-notch. I mean D'Onofrio is a prime example, now he primarily plays a ton of goofy supporting roles in movies and television, but if you look at a few of the screenshots from his Pvt. Pyle character in Full Metal Jacket you won't recognize him. Also, let's not forget the late R. Lee Ermey in his role as role as the relentlessly intense Gny. Sgt. Hartman, which certainly rivaled his performance in Saving Silverman (that's a joke obviously, although he was hilarious in that goofy comedy). Kubrick was a man of many talents who was seemingly a perfectionist when it came to his work, and he made everyone else around him better, hence my Bill Belichick reference (you're welcome).

I touched on it a bit earlier during my rant about Stanley Kubrick's amazing accomplishments, but the performances in The Shining are just amazing. Whether intentional or not, the cast somehow looks right through you with soul-crushing eyes. Nicholson is known for his intense and unnerving delivery, and he leaves it all out on the field so to speak in this film, contributing to some of the most iconic scenes in film history. Shelley Duvall was the perfect actress to play the role alongside Nicholson, creating an uneasy dynamic throughout the film. Young Danny Lloyd was great as well, and some would argue that his interactions with Nicholson are what had the most impact. I mean you could just feel the unease he felt around his father, and it increased organically right up to the climax. Any way you look at it, The Shining has great performances from top to bottom. 

One thing Kubrick believed in which seems to be forgotten about in the new age of film, is the importance of a quality score. Now I'm not referring to a soundtrack, but the sounds that accompany an intense scene, or maybe even a scene with little to no dialogue that feels intense because of the sounds in the background. To better understand what a film score is, the definition is as follows: 

A film score is the music composed specifically for the movie to serve and enhance the story. It is usually instrumental only so as not to compete with dialog. It is also called underscore (a term I, as a composer, find ever so slightly belittling) or even incidental music (that one makes me bristle a bit).

To me the above is a perfect definition for what I view the film score as, which at the end of the day is something composed or mixed for a specific film. Film scores are still utilized today of course, but I just feel like they are underutilized when it comes to modern filmmaking. One of the greats that comes to mind would be the late composer Jóhann Jóhannsson, who most recently contributed to Sicario and the sci-fi thriller Arrival, to name a few. Jóhannsson sadly passed away last year at the age of 48, and his talents will be missed. Back on track, the score for The Shining has been referred to as "Hauntological", which seems to mean unsettling and perfectly placed within each moment of the film. Although Kubrick brought in composers Wendy Carlos and Rachel Elkind, very little of their work made it into the final cut of the film. Instead it is widely noted that Kubrick returned to his sci-fi classic 2001: A Space Odyssey, borrowing from the score for that film to help create the spine-tingling sounds of The Shining – described by some as the "Sonic landscape at the Overlook Hotel." Either way, the fact remains that from the opening scene of a picturesque winding road, the score sets the tone for the film.

If you have yet to see The Shining, you either live under a rock, or are too much of a wuss to watch a horror film. Regardless of the reason, trust me when I say you're missing out. And if you're like me and wanted to dive back in before seeing the upcoming sequel, Doctor Sleep, which follows an adult Danny Torrence, revisiting this masterpiece is a must. You can also purchase the Blu-ray like I did. Plus the film has so many small easter eggs that you need to pay close attention to the point where you could watch it 10 times and interpret it differently each and every time, theories and hidden meanings that are discussed thoroughly in the documentary Room 237, which is available On-Demand and also through Amazon. So many that you very likely picked up on some while watching the film over and over or perhaps when you thought something just didn't look right. You were likely correct either way, because there is in fact so many things that don't look right that if you didn't notice them, once seeing Room 237 you'll think yourself an oblivious fool. Kubrick had such a twisted and genius mind. There are so many layers of meanings and so many "what a pervert" moments. Room 237 will literally change you, how you view The Shining, and for the better. I won't throw in any spoilers though I really want to, just see it yourself.  

Bottom line, with one of the greatest directors to ever live and a stellar cast this film is the epitome of replay-ability and still holds up to any film that has released in the last 40 years, and that is quite an accomplishment. A timeless horror classic in every sense of the word, Stanley Kubrick's The Shining will live on as a work of art that every filmmaker will aspire to, and every true film fanatic will undoubtedly add to their collection. Highly recommended.

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Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

October 31, 2019

Director Tom McLoughlin

Genre Horror | Thriller

Cast Thom Mathews, Jennifer Cooke, David Kagen, C.J. Graham

Rating R

Release Date August 1st, 1986

“Tommy Jarvis goes to the graveyard to get rid of Jason Voorhees’ body once and for all, but inadvertently brings him back to life instead. The newly revived killer once again seeks revenge, and Tommy may be the only one who can defeat him.”

In an effort to mix things up a little we decided to integrate random Throwback Movie Reviews into our site content, because well, why not? Plus when you own as many Blu-ray’s as I do, replay value takes on a life of it’s own. And in honor of the fact that we will have a Friday the 13th in December this year (yupp, you read that right) as well as the fact that today is Halloween, we chose to start with a movie from our favorite slasher franchise, Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. The poster’s tagline, “Kill or Be Killed”? How about we change it to “try and kill Jason (again) yet failing miserably, and getting yourself killed instead”.

This certainly isn’t the highest rated film in the franchise or the lowest for that matter, but it is one of my favorites for a few reasons. First of all, I absolutely love the opening sequence. Nothing better than Tommy Jarvis and his buddy fresh from the loony bin (are we still allowed to refer to it as that in 2019?) on a road trip to finally kill Jason once and for all. This is also a great PSA for not giving in to peer pressure because Tommy’s buddy wasn’t super pumped about this adventure to begin with, and of course once Tommy botches the entire thing, Jason wakes up and the buddy ends up getting murdered and that slippery Tommy Jarvis gets away. Typical.

Things really get going from here because let me just say, the only thing Jason hates more than that little bastard Tommy Jarvis is getting murdered over and over again only to come back to life more pissed off than the last time. I mean seriously, he really hates this blond-haired jean jacket wearing smart ass and he will do anything to exact his revenge. Now Tommy had what he thought was a good plan, go to the cemetery where Jason is buried and not bothering anyone might I add, and make sure he is finally dead for good this time. Meanwhile, Camp Crystal Lake has finally reopened for the next generation of bright eyed kids and horny lazy counselors. Unfortunately the grand re-opening is ruined because, yeah you guessed it, idiot Tommy leads Jason right to the camp so Jason figured he’ll murder some other unsuspecting victims along the way because well, that’s how he rolls. Now if this wasn’t enough, Tommy decides he’ll make moves on the local sheriff’s young and clearly “hell-bent on doing things to piss daddy off” daughter. I’m not sure that’s the best way to make sure law enforcement will protect you from the masked murdered on your trail Tommy but hey, worth a shot right?

Things move along as expected, the oblivious counselors get picked off one by one because apparently they prefer it that way and haven’t heard of the buddy system. You also have a pretty cool scene with the kids hiding under a bed but escaping unscathed because Jason prefers that his victims hit puberty before he murders them, which if you think about it that’s certainly one of his better qualities. The film is somewhat lacking in the “eye candy” category compared to others in the franchise, but things move along fast enough to where you can let it slide. Now after all of this commotion, Tommy takes some time to brainstorm how he could possibly piss Jason off even more. “Hmmm, I think i’ll go out on the lake in this little boat and try to recreate Jason’s childhood death which was basically the domino effect that started this entire Camp Crystal Lake nightmare”. Yet another great plan from Mr. Jarvis. Now he somehow pulls this off because Jason is basically seeing red at this point and too pissed off to think clearly, and because of that he gets a front row seat to the bottom of the lake. But as it goes with the Friday the 13th films, just as you start to accept a somewhat happy ending with at least 2 survivors, by the time the screen fades to black you know that you haven’t seen the last of Jason. One thing is for sure, Tommy better get his ass out of dodge fast because you know damn well that lake ain’t holding Jason for long.

I think it goes without saying that this was more of a funny play-by play than it was an actual review, but give me a break this movie came out 33 years ago which is well beyond the spoiler statute of limitations. Either way, this is one of my favorites in the iconic franchise so find some time to check out Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives this Halloween or any day for that matter, it’s worth it. You can even make it into a drinking game, take a shot every time Tommy does something to make things worse for everyone else. Good luck with that!

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Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich

October 31, 2019

Director Sonny Laguna, Tommy Wiklund

Genre Horror

Cast Thomas Lennon, Barbara Crampton, Michael Paré, Charlyne Yi

Rating Unrated

Release Date August 17th, 2018 (Limited & On-Demand)

“All hell breaks loose when a strange force animates the puppets up for auction at a convention, setting them on a bloody killing spree that’s motivated by an evil as old as time.”

From directors Sonny Laguna and Tommy Wiklund, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich is the latest from the cult horror franchise that burst onto the scene in 1989 with the original Puppet Master (burst may be a strong word, but it sounds kinda cool). Now these movies are FAR from perfect, but they are a guilty pleasure for fans of B-movie horror and I have always enjoyed them. It took awhile but I finally ponied up the $9.99 + tax and bought the film on Blu-ray so that I could try and relive my teenage years or whenever the hell I discovered these films (I honestly can’t remember). I will say that I do own the others in the form of a cheapo DVD collection I stumbled upon one Halloween.

First of all, Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich is not scary, I mean not at all. If the intention was for this movie to be scary, they messed up big. But with that being said, I’m not naive enough to think that was actually the intention considering the over-the-top nature of the film as a whole as well as the cast consisting mostly of actors known only for their comedic roles. As a fan of the original films, I went into this one knowing the premise and I felt like they did a good job tying in the backstory to sort of bring things full-circle. Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich essentially starts more or less at the beginning and then takes it to present day, skipping over the events of the other films for the most part, so it’s not necessarily a remake as much as it is a let’s all go see what these creepy puppets are up to even though deep down we know damn well the little bastards will likely eat your face off if given the chance.

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich is honestly a solid film for what it is and I was pleased with it for the most part. I sort of knew what to expect so how ridiculous it was at times didn’t surprise me, but I will say it did have a few slow parts. It does stray somewhat from the formula of the other films which are darker and more on the horror spectrum, albeit corny at times due to the vast majority of no-name actors. The films are in the realm of traditional slashers, offering up an unnecessary mix of nudity (which is appreciated) and ultra-violent and gory deaths. Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich is also from the producers of Bone Tomahawk and The Meg, contributing to how absolutely ridiculous the kills can be at times. You will also find yourself laughing at some of the ridiculous puppets that were added to the lineup for this film and the way that they end the lives of their victims. The humor is also prevalent throughout keeping the tone light aside from the excessive gore factor.

I also feel the need to point out that Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich absolutely loves the beheading kills with at least 3 or more in the film if my memory serves me, one of which where the poor bastard is taking a piss only to have his head land in the toilet while somehow his body continues peeing - makes sense. Nobody is safe in this film, including children and pregnant women so proceed with caution. I was a bit disappointed that the drill head puppets didn’t come into play until the tail end, they were always one of my favorites. Overall I found Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich to be entertaining although I do prefer the creepier original films that can make your skin crawl at times. Bottom line, if you enjoy B-movie horrors, you could do much worse. It’s also worth noting that the film is rated on the “you pretty much know what to expect from it” rating scale so keep the expectations relatively grounded and you’ll be fine.

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